It’s a difficult task. What can you buy for the overly enthusiastic instagrammer in your life at the festive time of year? You thought you’d got it just right last year with that leather photo album, only to find that the slots weren’t 5×5 square, and the cover was the wrong shade of white. It’s hard, I know.
Long-suffering instagram widow/ers, suffer no more. I’ve kindly put together a list for you to tick off this Christmas, guaranteeing you gift-giving success and festive cheer to last right through until January.
Fellow Instagram addicts, this is for you too. Simply leave this page open on your laptop or phone for your significant others to peruse & purchase.
- Bonsai scissors. It matters not if they are functional or even remotely useful in the real world, providing they add rustic #authenticity to an artfully staged photo.
- Unusual spoons. Preferably hand carved by blind Tibetan monks, but a bearded man in Southern England will also do.
- A power bank, for those awful moments when the battery creeps into the red.
- Books with pretty covers. It’s ok to judge by these if you have no intention of ever actually reading them anyway.
- A realistic baby’s hand prop. Those actual child-hands are just too unpredictable!
- Scrumpled linen tea towels. If you insist on buying us nicely ironed ones, please have the courtesy to at least stuff them in the bottom of the laundry hamper for a week before gifting.
- Dead flowers. So poignant, so likeable. We will also accept living flowers that will eventually die.
- A glossy white/rustic wooden tabletop – although, just between you and me – a large white mounting board / a wooden photo backdrop will suffice.
- A human tripod. The greatest gift you can offer is the promise to always be there, standing over the table when we casually drink our morning tea, taking 35 shots to get just the right angle. And smile about it, please!
Failing that, we will accept a gorilla tripod instead. - A fog machine, industrial strength. Or a moody English winter.
- iPhone lenses – never tried these, always felt like I should.
- A chemex. The Hario dripper is so 2015.
- A six-week Instagram Coursewith yours truly to make 2016 the best year on Instagram yet! Stylish gift card & photo journal provided as part of the package, ready for Christmas morning. (Seamless self-promotion, right? 😀 )
- A Daniel Wellington watch. It’s just the rules, ok? We don’t make them up. (& you can get 15% off with code meandorla 😉 )
Anything I missed? Are you exasperated by all the instagram cliches, or do you sort of love them all too? & most importantly, what are you lusting for this Christmas?
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11 Comments
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Anna
January 19, 2016
Haha! I hate the Instagram cliches. I’ll purposefully not ‘like’ anything with those little scissors or a kinfolk magazine. It kind of implies more ‘perfect’ lives I don’t really need to see in my messy imperfect life (to mention your f*** perfect post).
olga
November 29, 2015
I have a soft spot for tools. Sounds like you have a lovely collection :-)! x
olga
November 29, 2015
This is brilliant. It seriously made me laugh. I’d also add the kinfolk magazine to go with the glossy white/ rustic wooden tabletop. A must have if you want to be a proffesional instagrammer :-). And some white wooden floors of course. x
Andrea
November 25, 2015
I have just started getting into instagram and this has seriously made me chuckle 🙂
Reminded me, I do own a wooden spoon… must find it…
Nicole
November 23, 2015
I haven’t had anything done in a while but have an acquaintance from my previous life as a dressmaker’s helper (he worked in the same old forge) near my parental home…
I have the fold saw (v useful) and carving knife (v sharp) an Opinel knife (great for camping as is better than most of our kitchen knives) and a crook knife that gave me a smile shaped scar on boxing day of last year and I haven’t dared go near it since. An axe is the missing piece of the puzzle (that and the skills but as with everything just need to put the hours in). + we’re hoping to move to the woods so it’ll actually come in handy…
Sara Tasker
November 23, 2015
Oh the light! So hard at this time of year, when there’s all of about 5 minutes to take a nice picture in the day. We all need instagram STUDIOS 😀
Sara Tasker
November 23, 2015
Hahaha! Yeah, it slightly goes against the whole ‘authenticity’ vibe, but I know of a fair few bloggers who use the backdrops with great success, so I’ve started recommending them to clients. We can’t all live in a driftwood cottage with white brick walls, right?
Your botanical prints are beautiful, and definitely a beautiful gift. Do you have a favourite framer locally?
R has an axe and a folding woodsman type saw. I have yet to instagram it, but it’s really only a matter of time… x
Sara Tasker
November 23, 2015
oh YES! or a miniature hedgehog, or a rescued racoon. Eye sadness is essential regardless! x
mummyofboygirltwins
November 23, 2015
Brilliant! Lots of light too – oh where oh where is all the light??!! Love this xx
Nicole
November 23, 2015
I had no idea about the vinyl backdrop thing… Probably easier to store than my section of tongue and groove nailed to some battening that I keep behind the sofa (along with the length of cement board and numerous colours of mount board – theres no room for spiders or dust bunnies in my house, all the space is taken up with props!).
I’m gifting myself some of the botanical prints from my shop this year. I always wanted a big grouping of them in my bathroom (apothecary styled).
Also – an axe (to go with last years spoon carving knives – see the bit about authentically carved spoons…)
saspetherick
November 23, 2015
Also: a puppy. with a slight overbite/sadness in his eyes.
This is brilliant. I need a creepy fake baby hand!