how to survive flu

Did I mention I’ve been sick? I’VE BEEN SICK, YOU GUYS, and it was really, really bad.
Orla had it first – ten long days of fever and sleeplessness that ended in a visit to the doctors and a bottle of sticky sweet orange antibiotic syrup. Just as she began to emerge from it, I came down with the same, and lost a solid five days to the worst virus I can ever remember. I didn’t leave the house for a week. Even now, eight days on, I need a sit down after I’ve walked up the stairs.

Anyway, lest it happen to you too, I have compiled a helpful list of all that I learnt.

how to survive the flu

  1. Tell everybody about it. When unwell it’s extremely important to make sure everybody around you knows you are ill. This serves the dual purpose of both protecting them from catching it and becoming unable to care for you, and also maximises the amount of sympathy you will receive.
  2. Twitter. Twitter was, in all likelihood, originally invented specifically for people with flu and iPhones who needed to easily complain to a much larger audience. If you are feeling too weak to express your sickness through typing, regular gif updates will also suffice.
  3. Request things via text. What else can you do when your throat hurts too much to shout and you need yoghurt and honey at 11pm??
  4. Buy health gadgets from Amazon prime. I went for a steam nebuliser. It made absolutely no discernable difference to my health condition once it arrived, but the hope that might, and could arrive at any given minute kept me going through 24 miserable hours of flu.
  5. Get more pillows. Everyone knows lots of pillows are v helpful when you are unwell. I went for a modest seven.
  6. Eat toast. Toast is actually the most comforting and fortifying food known to man, which is why they give it to you in NHS hospitals after childbirth. If anything can get you through this, toast can.
  7. Listen to your body. Thirsty? Drink drink drink. Craving everything on the COS website? Don’t question nature, just order that beautiful shit. When your bank statement comes and you want to cry you can blame it on the fever.
  8. Watch comedy. I binged on Tim Minchin & Harry Hill and ended up laughing until I cried. Well, laughing until I coughed so hard I cried, but it’s basically the same thing, right?
lookit her little flu face :(
lookit her little flu face 🙁
Anyway, that’s all in the past, and I’m gearing up to kick some serious ass this week like the weak-legged, sticky-eyed kitten I now am.

Look out world, I’m coming to sneeze on you. x

7 Comments

  • Kate X Design

  • May 04, 2016

Never underestimate the restorative powers of hot buttered toast! That and ginger ale, a must when I’m sick. Feel better soon, Sara!

  • All That Is She

  • May 04, 2016

This sounds like the exact same illness that attacked our family a few weeks ago. Penny caught it first and when her temperature was still soaring and she continued to sleep all day, almost a week later, we thought she’d never get better. And then Dominic caught it. And the world ended for 10 whole days ?. Hope you’re feeling human again soon.

  • Jen Farrant

  • May 03, 2016

blah, I have been ill for two weeks with this bloody thing, although I seem to have shifted it now. As I was ill for three weeks over xmas you would think that I would be exempt or something. But no….

  • Marianne Andresen

  • May 03, 2016

You`re funny even when you`re sick! Gooood girl:) Take care! Get well! From flufree me

  • Elaine B

  • May 03, 2016

I just responded to your post on Twitter but I am going to go ahead and repeat myself here. I just relapsed last night after being sick with this evil ailment for most of March :~|
I do this to emphasize your first point because we both need all the sympathy we can get :~) Do take care of yourself and don’t do what I did and overdo it too soon!

  • moanymouse

  • May 02, 2016

I loved this post – not because you are poorly but because I was expecting to read a super serious post about vitamins and rest but was hit with point #1 and got the giggles right away. Very relatable! Hope you feel better soon. x

http://www.moanymouse.com | Scottish Lifestyle Blog

  • Hilary Grant

  • May 02, 2016

Hope you are feeling better soon Sara, don’t push yourself too much. It sounds really similar to something I had over xmas, and took me about 3 weeks before I started to feel like myself again. I was on the special painkillers (prescription of course) so wasn’t trusted with access to card details…at one point was found in bed wearing an old hat belonging to my FIL, waving a sandwich around in the air! Take care & speedy recovery to you both. xx

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