It’s much too easy to let my blog & instagram slide into being part of the ‘perfect life’ myth – that idea that everyone else has everything great, & you’re the only one dealing with the crap. So, to redress the balance:

  • I have really bad anxiety. I sometimes cancel plans because leaving the house seems too overwhelming that day. I freak out about filling in forms or phoning my car insurance provider or going to the Post Office. I have a real talent for leaping to the terrible conclusions & convincing everyone around me of it too, and meeting new people = GAHHHH.
  • I’m the sleepiest person I know – & it’s exhausting! If I have a free hour I get back into bed, & am secretly resentful of anything that drags me away from it. Sometimes I exaggerate how badly Orla’s slept to people to justify my tiredness, but the truth is I’ve always been this sleepy & she sleeps like an angel.
  • My laundry backlog is currently huge. I reckon it will take about 5 loads to clear it. Gotta sort that. After a nap.
  • I’m awful at replying to text messages. I blame a combination of #1 & #2 for this, but possibly I’m just a flake.
  • I never have any money. I just love buying stuff too much, & am awful at saving or living frugally. If it were more socially acceptable I would probably list ‘buying things from the Zara website’ as one of my main hobbies.
  • I’m perpetually late. See #2.
  • Orla’s current favourite thing to do is watch youtube videos on my phone. I don’t even know how this happened.
  • I gave up on all of my dreams. Any sort of ambition was always mocked in my family, & career aspirations dismissed as ‘delusions of grandeur’. Now I realise I should never have given up so easily, & am quietly trying to get back on track. I always wanted to write fiction, so that’s what I’m doing. From my bed. 

Dare to share your life imperfections too?

20 Comments

  • Lindsay Eryn

  • May 12, 2016

Oh! I wrote a similar post last month! I shared some confessions, most of them kind of silly, but I did it in an effort to encourage transparency, which I think is so important for fostering a healthy community.

  • Linda

  • March 11, 2015

Dear Sara,
I only just discovered your blog through your recipe from a Toast email I received this morning. This might sound a bit weird/stupid/silly (you pick!), but this post literally had me in tears as it could have been written by me, every single point. I don’t know how old you are, but I am in my late 30s, have 2 small children and I’m still waiting for that moment when I get to feel like a ‘grownup’. I don’t know how everybody else does it, sometimes it feels like I missed out on a manual that tells you how to live life! Anxieties can be so crippling and I envy people who don’t suffer from them. I still have many dreams that got squashed also and I’m still in hope to fulfill at least some of them. Anyways, just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your honesty and I wish you well. Linda x

  • Sara

  • October 11, 2014

Absolutely! I keep meaning to do a ‘story behind the picture’ post for some of my ig snaps – like, this lovely picture of my bed was carefully shot to avoid the huge coffee stain on my sheets that I have just ignored because I couldn’t be bothered to change them

  • Rita

  • October 11, 2014

Yeah, don’t beat yourself up – that’s my motto these days 🙂 good on you for sharing this though. We never know what’s behind the golden door. It’s good to take the beauty of images we see online or snippets of other peoples’ lives (or our own) with a grain of salt. P.s.- 1, yeah, if it wasn’t for the internet, I don’t know!

  • Sara

  • August 16, 2014

How lovely to hear this (I know it was months ago but it was nice to re-read it today, & I’ve thought of it since when I see your ig account 🙂 ). Thanks for your honesty too! I’d probably have deleted this post long ago were it not for the comments that made me feel totally normal for all my weirdness! 😀 x

  • Sara

  • August 16, 2014

Dinosaur porn? I’m almost tempted to go looking for that just to see.
I like to tell myself that youtube is actually better than TV because I am choosing specifically what she watches and when. Good excuse, no? 😉 x

  • Sara

  • August 16, 2014

Stupid but also, ME TOO! Probably everyone too? I don’t know. I know that when I’ve challenged myself & actually asked the people I felt *so sure* were life’s natural copers, it turned out they worry about exactly the same crap as I do. They’re just better at dismissing the bad thoughts when they aren’t helpful!

  • Sara

  • August 16, 2014

So late replying, but thanks Sally. Yup, anxiety feeds all bad thoughts somewhere along the line. I’m toying with doing a ‘how I really took this picture’ post about my silliest instagram shots. It would be both revealing & hilarious! 🙂

  • Sara

  • August 16, 2014

It’s funny how many of us can relate, despite it often seeming like I’m the only one in the world with these problems. I guess we all just hide it well. (The laundry is particularly easy to get away with 😉 ). I hope your dreams come back to you. Not that raising our kids isn’t a dream all of its own, but sometimes its good to have a dream that’s just for you 🙂 x

  • Sara

  • August 16, 2014

Oh, Robyn. Thank you for sharing your honesty too, & for writing such a wonderful comment. Your dream sounds SO exciting and I’m glad you found your way to my post if it has helped in any way at all. Please keep me posted on your dream as it comes true! S xx

  • Robyn

  • August 11, 2014

Thanks so much for sharing this little list ! How familiar it all sounds, especially the anxiety !! I swoon over your instagram feed with silly feelings of self doubt, all the while knowing that everyone’s life is different to those portrayed in our day to day photographs of it. Growing up within our family meant dreams were squashed (a familiar motto ‘ beggars can’t be chooses’ rings out ), but today I have been putting together and planning my dream…a blog,website and on-line shop. I have started this SO many times, it never gets the past the notebook phase ! But today it will. It has to. How fortuitous, with a heart full of fear and doubt, that I stumble upon your blog and your wonderful list of imperfections. You have made a massive difference to someone today, you will make a massive difference to someone tomorrow too ! Thanks so much.

  • Tammi

  • April 30, 2014

Sara, it is so easy to forget that there are real people behind blogs/IG with normal issues like the rest of us. Thanks for keeping it real.
I can relate to the anxiety..I suffered with severe pnd after our fifth which included bouts of anxiety. I could sleep 30 hours a day if it was possible and with doing laundry for 10 there is no way that I will ever manage to be on top,of it until such a time that it’s just hubby and I. I put all my dreams on hold to raise our children and now I’m not even sure what those dreams were/are.

  • Sally

  • April 22, 2014

Ooooo SNAP! I heart IG but I must remind myself that these are highly edited lives or I drown in a sea of ‘not good enough’ envy. That’ll be the anxiety then. Thanks for reminding me that we all feel this way. You rock x

  • Nicola

  • April 14, 2014

Thanks for being real Sara. I permanently worry that people are doing life ‘better’ than me, have more friends and cope with day to day stuff more easily. Stupid huh? xx

  • Sheona

  • April 14, 2014

YouTube is a fantastic parenting tool and I see no problem with it… Until you realise that your child is watching videos of dinosaurs shagging, music videos that feature expletives I’d never heard before and reenactments of Fireman Sam where a few too many rather ‘special’ visits are paid to Norman’s mum. But Orla’s too young to take any of that on-board so I wouldn’t worry.

Love xx

  • christie @ westoakdesign

  • April 14, 2014

You basically just admitted most of my faults. Love this post & love your honesty. You were one of the first people to comment & follow me on instagram & you gave me the confidence to really push forward with my project & blog. You’re inspiring me… even with your faults;) Thank you♡

  • OliveandIris

  • April 14, 2014

Thank you for writing this, your life does look kind of perfect in blog/IG form so it’s nice to have a reality reminder.
I am pretty lazy, if I can sit and watch tv instead of cleaning – that’s where I’ll be. Which is why my house might look tidy but is covered in dust. Also my almost 2 year old might watch more CBeebies than is good for her .. but you know we’re only human!
xx

  • Rebecca

  • April 13, 2014

I gave up on my dreams, too. *bitch-slaps self* And buying stuff (even crap I don’t want) is my tactic for battling my anxiety. *doesn’t recommend* *hides from bailiffs*

  • Jo

  • April 13, 2014

Number 1 made me sad – you seem like an awesomely lovely person and I hope you find something very soon to ease your anxiety, and get rid of these feelings – and you’re very brave for writing this post.

I wish you the best of luck with your writing (first book to be written in calligraphy writing?!), may all your dreams come true. Imagine how good you will feel when you nail it in spite of your disbelievers! (PS not sure if you read the blog A Beautiful Mess, but they just launched an ecourse on writing a book pitch which may be helpful?)

Oh, and my husband has now trained me to be good with money and budgeting (used to be AWFUL!) so if you need any tips, just holler x

  • Aloadofoldtat.blogspot.co.uk

  • April 13, 2014

I can relate to one and two, delegated 3 to my very organised husband, regret not getting five under control earlier in life (although you did make me smile) and wish you well with the last, do not give up, listen to your heart.

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